You just found out you’re the only Black person on the trip.

Don’t panic.

DON’T GO! DON’T GO! DON’T GO!

DON’T GO!

There are a few things you can do to maximize your chances of having a peaceful weekend.

1. Stay Your Ass in the House.

The statistics are undefeated.

Nothing happens to the person who never left the living room.

2. Find Something Safe to Do.

Go to brunch.

Go to the movies.

Go to your mama’s house.

Go cut the grass.

Go literally anywhere that wasn’t suggested in that group chat.

3. Develop a Scheduling Conflict.

You don’t have to explain it.

Just become unavailable.

Suddenly you’re helping your cousin move.

Watching your niece.

Taking your grandmother shopping.

Attending a fish fry.

Supporting a friend’s candle business.

Whatever it is… you can’t make it.

4. Practice the Ancient Black Art of “I’ma Pass.”

No negotiations.

No “maybe.”

No “I’ll think about it.”

Just hit ’em with…

“Nah.”

If they ask why…

“Nah.”

If they ask again…

“Y’all have fun.”

That’s a complete sentence.

5. It’s Still “Don’t Go.” Why Are You Still Reading?

At this point you’re looking for a loophole.

There isn’t one.

Every piece of advice in this article has said the exact same thing in a different outfit.

Don’t.

Go.

Matter of fact… close this article and text the group chat right now:

“Something came up.”

Whatever it is…

It’s safer than that trip.