A social media user known as @thetatted_lover is drawing strong reactions online after posting a candid statement about his dating preferences.
In a short video clip, he said:
“Hey, so I know I’m probably about to get hella, hella bashing in the comments but here’s the thing. If it’s not femme, I don’t want it. I’m sorry.”
“If It’s Not Femme, I Don’t Want It”: @thetatted_lover – powered by Durtey
The quote quickly circulated, igniting debate across timelines about attraction, preference, and internal dynamics within LGBTQ+ spaces.
Clear Preference, Clear Reactions
There was no hesitation in his delivery. @thetatted_lover acknowledged backlash before it even came, then doubled down on his stance. For supporters, that kind of transparency is refreshing. They argue that dating is personal — if someone knows exactly what they’re attracted to, it’s better to say it upfront.
Others weren’t as enthusiastic. Critics questioned whether publicly framing preference in such absolute terms — “If it’s not femme, I don’t want it” — unintentionally reduces people to categories rather than individuality.
The Masc vs. Femme Conversation (Again)
The reaction shows that conversations around masculinity and femininity in queer spaces remain sensitive. Dating apps and social platforms are filled with labels and declarations about “masc only” or “fem only,” and each time, it sparks the same underlying question:
Is it just attraction — or is there social conditioning beneath it?
For many femme-presenting men, seeing someone openly express preference for them can feel validating. Femme men often navigate stereotypes both outside and inside LGBTQ+ communities. Public admiration can feel like visibility and affirmation.
On the other hand, some argue that loudly excluding other presentations reinforces divisions that already exist.
Preference vs. Public Messaging
No one disputes that individuals have the right to their preferences. Attraction isn’t a democracy — it’s personal. But the conversation surrounding @thetatted_lover’s statement isn’t really about permission. It’s about presentation.
In a digital era where every sentence can go viral, tone matters. A private preference can become a public declaration that carries more weight than intended.
Still, one thing is clear: @thetatted_lover said what he said — and he said it knowing the comments would come.
And they did.
